THE LOST ART OF MOURNING

 

The Lost Art of Mourning 

Gen. 50:3 reports that all of Egypt mourned Israel for 70 days.  During this time his son Joseph apparently transacted no business, even though he was overseer of all Pharaoh's affairs.  We know this because only when the period of mourning was over did he inquire of Pharaoh's ministers if he could bury his father in the grave which, as his father had told him, "I dug for myself in the land of Canaan." This was in the cave his grandfather Abraham had bought from Ephron the Hittite. 

 After Pharaoh granted Joseph's request, all the house of Joseph, his brothers and his father's house, and the servants of Pharaoh, his elders and all the elders of the land of Egypt, escorted by a great company of chariots and horsemen, travelled to Canaan.  Gen. 50:7-9.  The Bible does not report how long the journey took, but it must have been quite an enterprise, a mini-exodus from Egypt if you will, and a foreshadowing of Moses's mass exodus with Israel's unruly and stiff-necked descendants four centuries later.  Once in Canaan, the entire company mourned for another seven days at the threshing floor of Atad, before returning to Egypt. 

 There are many other examples of mourning in the Bible.  Gen. 23:2 (KJV) reports that when Sarah died Abraham came "to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her."  Gen. 24:67 tells us that only after Isaac took Rebekah as his wife was he "comforted after his mother's death."

 Isaiah 53:3,4 prophesied that Jesus would be "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" and that "surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows."  In the shortest verse in the Bible, John 11:35 tells us that "Jesus wept" over the death of Lazarus.  His tears were prompted by the answer to his question, "Where did you bury him (Lazarus)?" and they answered: "Lord, come and see."  The expression, "come and see," is an invitation that Jesus used.  See John 1:39.  Perhaps hearing this expression spoken to him prompted Jesus's tears.  See also Psalm 46:8, "Come and see what the Lord hath done," and John 1:46: "Nazareth!  Can anything good come from there?  Nathanael asked.  Come and see, said Philip."

 I remember some decades ago older women wearing black for as long as a year after their husbands died.  This was an accepted practice back then as I recall, although it was fading.  I don't see much of that extended and almost ritualistic kind of mourning today.  It seems that in our times the culture pressures us to mourn loudly and quickly, get it over with, and then go on about our business.  Have you ever felt the uncanny sense of unease when later in the day after attending the funeral service for a loved one you have to run to the store to pick up a carton of milk, or some such errand?  The world does not stop for us but keeps moving on ever faster with all its commercial and glitzy concerns and preoccupations—this as our families and local communities, which used to ground us, seem to shrink in relative importance with each passing year, especially now when our hand-held devices give us immediate access to the entire world. 

After this period of mourning there was no longer any contention between Joseph and his brothers.  They lived in peace, and Joseph went from being in effect a busy CEO presiding over an empire to becoming a genuine family man, see Gen:50:22,23, reporting that Joseph lived long enough to see his children and his grandchildren grow up "on [his] knees."  Perhaps a proper period of mourning sets us up for a longer and wonderful period of quiet joy.  See Romans 5:3: where the always upbeat Paul writes, "Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." 

The mourning over Israel in Canaan took place at the threshing floor of Atad.  The threshing floor in ancient times was where threshing and winnowing took place.  Threshing is the process of loosening the edible part of grain from the husks and straw to which it is attached by treading over them.  Usually oxen performed this task, but people can do it too.  See Ruth 2:17, where it is reported that Ruth "beat out what she had gleaned," and Ruth 3, describing how Ruth lay at the feet of her future husband Boaz on the threshing floor.   After threshing the grain the next step is to winnow it from the chaff by throwing the threshed mixture up in the air with winnowing forks.  The chaff blows away, leaving only the good grain on the floor. 

 Perhaps God is explaining to us in this passage what mourning should be for the human heart, removing the husks and straw and chaff of the physical life (bios) from the edible grain of the spirit (pnuema).  In other words, when properly done, mourning cleanses us from useless and petty emotions and thoughts and leaves our hearts exposed and receptive to God's grace.  This was, no doubt, what happened to Joseph and why he was so amenable to a final and harmonious reconciliation with his brothers.

 Here is my list on the five steps for constructive mourning.  This is not gleaned from personal experience or from self-help books, but solely from a review of scripture.

 1. It takes time.  Mourning can not be rushed.   Effective mourning requires communing with God, and God does not take well to our worldly time clocks.

 2. Minimize worldly distractions.  It's not easy to commune with God when you're rushing off to Home Depot to measure a new sliding door for the back deck.

 3  Rejoice.  See Philippians 4:4-5, "Rejoice in the Lord always."  Giving way to despair will do the mourner no good.

 4.   Give Thanks.   See 1 Thessalonians 5. 18, "Giving thanks in all circumstances."  This reminds us that we are fortunate and blessed to have a life-line to God, an eternal life line.

 5.  Always pray and do not give up.  Luke 18:1-8.  Our strength comes from God.  If we don't pray, we limit our access to this divine power.